Saturday, January 14, 2017

Survival Tips in Raising Kids Alone

Sleepless nights, restless days…whatever! Raising kids alone has many ups and downs that would eventually cause you headaches on what to do first or next. Though I have a to-do list, in raising kids alone, things just got real mixed up! Aside from common pieces of advice, like time management and handling finances, here are some of the survival tips I want to share.

By the way, there are times that I went to a room then asked myself, “What am I doing here? Is there something I need to get from this room?” Or ask, “Where is my pen?” but I’m actually holding it. LOL! Relate? Every single day, I am trying to overcome all these. Some went well and some did not but I still survive!

Raine want to be carried when her "tantrums" strikes. I don’t know her weight anymore but she’s not easy and light for a petite mom like me. And nobody else would carry Railey’s bag at school but me. It contains 7 books, 10 notebooks, coloring materials, snacks, etc. Whew! And who else would carry the grocery bags? Of course, no other than me. Having a body massage is the best way I could offer to myself. It helps me soothe my bones, muscles and nerves. I have to take care of myself as well coz who would take care of my kids when I’m sick? Raising kids alone, I think, is equivalent or more to the hectic schedules of other businessmen and professionals yet they’re paid accordingly. The only payment I always want is healthy kids. If there’s some sort of bonus, that is to treat myself – body massage or hair care. We easily fall asleep when somebody's stroking our hair.

There’s nothing wrong with accepting help and admit that you’re tired or can’t do raising kids alone anymore. Opportunity comes once only, so if someone offers, go for it! That’s your chance to have a break and have fun. Do not be shy to accept help.

My kids are the first ever grandchildren of my parents so they are very fond and dear to them. Oftentimes, they want us to come for a vacation and let us stay there for a week or more so they won't get bored at home. They fetched my kids from Cebu and have them stayed in Bohol for almost a month and wanted me to recover myself from being stressed. Wow! It was a long break for me from raising kids alone. I slept for long hours without being anxious of my kids’ whereabouts. I cleaned the house and it stayed clean – for real – no messy toys everywhere and only have to wash 1 each for the plate, glass, bowl, spoon and fork in every meal. LOL! I rendered overtime in work a lot and had fun strolling outside. When I came home, the house stayed clean as it was when I left it. Clean but empty. My only enemy was homesick! I missed them and had to watch FB updates about my kids from my parents’ and siblings' status.

When it’s sleeping time for kids, it is your time to do the remaining household chores. And if everything’s settled, you can rest while your kids are still asleep. However, in my case, I experienced mind stress most of the time, I can’t sleep! My eyes are shut but my mind is still active. That would only give me headache, so I get up, roam around the house and get myself busy while enjoying. Have a hobby, yes, so I do scrapbooking in my own way and call it photobooking as I put my artworks on a photo album with plastics covers on each sticky pages to keep them from being wet or dirty. I intricately design my nails every after doing the laundry or once a week. Nail care! I design based on the available colors I have. Some are simple and some I learned from YouTube.

Now that I have to spend 2 vacant hours at school waiting for kid's dismissal, I realize to utilize it for my blog. It’s what I am doing now, draft an outline at school then finalize and publish it at home. This way, my jargon is developed too, as I’m already feeling that my brain is stagnant. LOL! We have to keep learning because kids today are in a fast pace and advanced education. We can’t assist them in school if we don’t teach ourselves as well.

You are not the only mother who is raising kids alone in your community. Everybody understands your sentiments if you are just open to them. At school, we spend the 2 hours through some chitchatting too. We shared stories and learned about their homes, broken marriages, long distance relationships and also their own way of raising kids alone. Furthermore, when one of us had to go and run for some errands, we can ask each one of us to watch over our kids for few minutes or attend to any of their needs and wants.

In addition, we also join forces with other moms in the neighborhood. Sometimes, one mom would ask me to buy milk and diaper for her kid or her pills when she sees me going out for grocery. In exchange, she would watch over my kids from her doorstep. Or check on them time to time. We exchange or share food during meals. And when one child in the neighborhood don’t want to eat, she would ask us to let my kids dine with them so her child will not get bored during the feeding time. Or sometimes, we feed our kids outside the house while we are having a mothers’ chitchat. When I have to go out for few hours, I worry about my kid being left at home. Good thing our neighbor, also a mom, suggested of letting both our kids play either at their house or ours. Through these, we can continue with what we needed to do and have additional playmate for our kids.

The last but not the least as I really recommend this. Technology allow us to communicate with them despite the miles between us. Talk to him how your day or week with the kids went through. Talk about your sentiments, proven and tested, it helps me ease the pain and depression I usually have. They should know about our families’ whereabouts and we also have to share everything and talk over some solutions. Do the husband-wife things as well. It’s up to you how you will do it. LOL! BTW, we use Skype chat and ooVoo video call. Quality time!

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